getting lost in parenthood

Family Matters: Reclaiming your identity in parenthood

As parents, we get plenty of advice on raising our kids. But it’s not often — or not often enough — that we hear advice about managing the ways that parenting can affect our own lives.

This week, Remake Learning co-founder and The Grable Foundation executive director Gregg Behr and Brown Mamas founder Muffy Mendoza sat down with Talk Pittsburgh host Heather Abraham to discuss the many ways people can lose themselves in parenting.

It’s a topic that’s on many parents’ minds (mine included) as we approach the beginning of another school year.

The conversation on Talk Pittsburgh was really honest and also encouraging.

“You absolutely get lost,” Mendoza said. “But the reality is that you can be found. And I’m speaking from experience, because i’m at that stage when i’m reclaiming my identity after my children. And it is very difficult because you do get used to doing like all the things for the kids. But one day at a time, inch by inch, activity by activity, you can find your way.”

Mendoza and Behr spoke about the challenge of embracing your new identity and activities as a parent without completely letting go of your own personal identity — and the activities that bring you happiness — as an individual.

“I think we forget who we are,” Behr said. “We got to parenthood a little bit later. And so we had a lot of friends who had become parents. And there were some who just… they became unrecognizable to us. But then there were other parents who kept doing the things that they loved. And we said, you know what? We want to be more like them.”

Check out the entire conversation between Abraham, Mendoza and Behr right here:

For more insight into getting lost in parenthood and finding yourself again, check out this essay — and this one, too